Friday, February 12, 2016


Self-love and self-care are so important for every woman, especially women who have been through difficult circumstances in their life. We are natural givers, but sometimes life depletes us.  It is through loving ourselves that we are able to maintain our power to give. Perhaps you can relate to my story:
My painting: "Self-Love"

Unfortunately, like so many women, I used to be in an abusive marriage.  It was causing me to experience a slow physical and spiritual death.  Self-care was difficult while caring for two small children as well as everything else that was going on.  I experienced depression and all sorts of food and environmental sensitivities for several years.  Mentally, I became so broken that I questioned my life’s purpose and my very existence.  Fortunately, there was a very small and meek part of me that wanted to fight to survive and live to see better days.  I tentatively made a plan to change everything.  When the day came, my greatest act of self-love (and most terrifying experience) was to get out of the abusive marriage I was in, and allow my entire being to begin to heal.

And heal I did!  In time, I became aware of how strong the mind-body-life connection could be, acts of self-love carried me through this new lease on life, and so self-care became my new spiritual practice. It involved immersing myself in Nature and the elements, and creating mental and physical space around myself.  It was about creating routines that served me and removing the ones that didn’t.  Walking in the sun and under trees, dipping my body in natural bodies of water, eating fresh and cultured foods; all became the standards of how I care for myself. In time I experienced an almost complete reversal of all of my physical symptoms!

While I developed my self-love practices, I felt that once meek part of myself getting stronger: my inner warrior woman – and she wanted so much more out of life!  Furthermore, it became apparent that she was there all along and helping me to navigate the difficulties life had thrown at me.  She was my will to survive when things were really rough.  Caring for myself meant caring for this inner warrior, and as I kept her strong, she would carry me onwards towards much greater opportunities in life. My wish is for all women to find that warrior part of themselves, and nurture her to the extent that you become unstoppable!

A map of how I care for myself.
Regarding self-loving acts: do what you can, when you can. Don’t be concerned about being selfish!  You can only offer yourself to the world as much as you lovingly keep yourself well.  The fact is, nobody will ever understand or appreciate you as much as you can. While there are certainly people in your life who lovingly pour their hearts into you, they are not you.  You (yes, and only you!) are your own best lover, cheerleader, and supporter.  When you take good loving care of yourself, you are stepping deeper into your own power.

Another message I would like to pass on from my own struggles is to be forgiving and gentle with yourself.  Life is not perfect, and sometimes our best efforts to love ourselves are smashed by negative people and situations. There were definitely times when I was so consumed by what was going on around me, I forgot the basics of what my mind and body required to be well and so I suffered.

During those inevitable times when you mentally struggle to act lovingly towards yourself, focus on the physical aspects of your health: fresh unprocessed food, clean water, reducing inflammation, sunshine, sleep, exercise.  When you do this, you give your mental wellbeing a boost.  Only you have the power really care for yourself in the ways your heart knows you need, so go ahead and make loving yourself your top priority! <3

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